I am bummed about round 3!

I did not make it into round 3. I am really disappointed cause I really thought I put myself way out there on the journaling. I hate it when you don't know why you were not picked. I think it is better to know so you can not make the same mistakes and it helps you to improve. On the up note I will continue to do the challenge in the second chance which in reality is very less stressful. I am happy with my lo's so it doesn't really matter in the end as long as you know you did your best. I am trying to tell myself that but I did hope to make it a little further.

I know this post is kindof sulky but that is just the mood I am in. I really am not a sore looser, and don't get mad, I am just really hard on myself and get down with myself thinking what could I have done better. I never think I am good enough and being rejected in stuff like this makes my low self esteem shine bright. I find myself always wanting to feel accepted. Does that sound stupid? I am always being the nice person that gives and gives and gives and I wonder if that makes me a better person. I am always thinking of ways to make another person happy. All of this is making me really think about the next round where our prompt is I'D RATHER......
Would I rather not care?........Would I rather be alone in my what seems like a black deem world?.........Would I rather pretend to be happy all the time?....... which sometimes wears me out... so that leads me to think other stuff like what if I didn't care, what if I didn't make myself smile somedays.....would that make me a worse person and deeper in the dark? Where do you draw the line? Come back later and see how my next lo turns out. I hope it is more happier.